Rocket Man
by Carlotta's twin
Summary: What was Kirk feeling when the fiveyear mission ended? Songfic


Rocket Man

by CT

Summary: Kirk's last voyage in space before Movie I. Songfic

D/C: Don't own Star Trek or the song Rocket Man.

Author's Note: I got inspired by the song. Not William Shatner's brutal murdering of it.

_She packed my bags last night pre-flight...Zero Hour, Nine AM_

Kirk stared out at the final frontier, and the small speck they knew as Earth. The five year mission was over. In less than a few days, Kirk would be standing on his home planet again, reunited with his family and old friends. So why did that make him so unhappy?

The bridge reflected Kirk's somber mood. Uhura wasn't chatting with any yeoman, or gossiping about a new ensign. No, she was sitting at her station, throughly depressed. Chekov and Sulu were promising to keep in touch even after they were separated. Scotty was down with his engines, apparently saying his goodbyes. Spock was nowhere to be seen. Kirk, with nothing else to do, went to sickbay.

McCoy was busy packing up his medical supplies. "Howdy, Jim." he said, not a touch of sadness on his features, though perhaps he was only acting. "Dammit, when I came on the Enterprise I only had some cordrazine and a hypospray. Now, look at me! I've got to get Chapel lug all this down for me-"

"Not on your life, Doctor." Chapel replied, walking by. "Hello, Captain." she said cordially.

"Aren't you sad, Bones?" Kirk asked. "We're leaving the Enterprise. Our lady-"

"No, Jim." he replied. "Your lady." McCoy looked at Kirk, frowning somewhat. "You need a pick-me-up, Jim." They walked into his office. "Did you know how many depression cases I've had to treat lately? Had to unpack half of my supplies...some ensigns are just bawling, Jim."

"I...can imagine." Kirk muttered.

"But you're behaving like a Vulcan." McCoy replied, pouring some brandy. "Dammit, Jim, if there's anyone who should be crying it's you. You're losing the Enterprise!"

"Don't remind me." Kirk said, accepting his glass. "Bones, can I talk to you about something?"

"Why the hell not." McCoy replied. "What's on your mind?"

"Nogura spoke to me." Kirk admitted. "He...offered me a promotion. To Admiral." McCoy said nothing for a while, then poured them both a bit more brandy. "Well? Aren't you happy...or surprised?"

"Jim, after everything you've done, I'd be more surprised if you didn't get promoted." McCoy replied. "But, congrats, Jim. You turned him down, of course..."

"Why would I do that?" Kirk asked.

"Well, it's obvious!" McCoy replied. "Admirals don't get space command. You're emotionally and physically attached to space and starships- if you became an Admiral you'd be ripped away from space."

"It's been a hard time out here, Bones."

"But you've loved every minute of it, and you better not lie and say you didn't." McCoy warned. "Now, I'll give you some advice: don't take the Admiralty. The prestige is nothing compared to the loss you'll feel afterward. You love space and starships. Don't leave it for some Admiral stripes and stars. Doctor's advice, Jim. But congratulations." McCoy got up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to finish packing. I..." McCoy frowned, and sadness filled his features. "I actually might miss sickbay. It's odd...but I will. And I'll miss that green-blooded pointy-eared hobgoblin when he leaves-"

"What?" Kirk asked. "Isn't he going to Earth?"

"No, didn't he tell you?" McCoy asked. "He's leaving for Vulcan in a few hours."

Kirk ran from sickbay to the Vulcan's quarters. "Spock! Open up!" he yelled.

The Vulcan opened his door. "Greetings, Captain." he replied. Kirk stormed in.

"What's this I hear about you leaving for Vulcan?" Kirk asked. "Why are you going? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Captain-"

"Call me Jim, dammit!" Kirk yelled, close to tears. He was losing the Enterprise and his friend at the same moment?

"Captain, I have become too...emotionally attached to this ship." Spock admitted. "I need to leave. I will go to Vulcan to master my emotions and prove my logical worth."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kirk asked.

"I have become too emotionally attached to you as well." Spock replied, his face a mask. "I will need to transfer my personal belongings to the shuttlecraft I will be taking. This may be the last time we meet."

"I know, Spock." Kirk muttered.

"It has been a...pleasure serving under you." Spock admitted. "I never knew friendship until I came aboard the Enterprise...Live long and prosper...Jim." Spock said. Kirk nodded.

"To you as well, Spock." he replied. He turned from the Vulcan and left. He couldn't take much more of this.

_And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then. _

"Captain, I don't believe you should drink any more." the bartender, a young ensign, told him gently. "Perhaps you should go to bed."

"I'm...the captain. I...make the orders." Kirk replied. He had been in the Rec Room, drinking his fill and more to try to ease the pain of Spock's departure. He had watched as Spock bordered the Galileo Nine and left for Vulcan. His first officer was gone. His friend, gone.

_I miss the Earth, I miss my wife. It's so lonely out in space on such a timeless flight!_

Kirk went back to his quarters. He really did miss the Earth- he hadn't seen it (or rather, his present view of it) in five years. Kirk rarely spoke with his remaining family, or any of his past friends. Going out into space was like taking a new life...and how could he return to his old one just yet? Kirk wondered if he could persuade Nogura into giving him another command. But somehow, he could tell that the Admiral wanted him down on Earth.

_And I think it's gonna be a long long time Til' touch down brings me round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home..._

Kirk began to read up on current events at Earth. "Captain Kirk and Enterprise due back to Earth- The Heroes Return!" Now that was an interesting title, he thought. He read on to see how Nogura had inflated his reputation ten-fold: everyone believe Kirk to be a fighting machine, battling Klingons and other enemies round the clock. Now that was strictly not true, Kirk thought. Space was quiet...It was lonely out in space sometimes.

And now everyone thought him to be a big hero! How could he put up with that? Kirk groaned. His crew would laugh at the article- especially Bones. His crew understood that Kirk was no hero- he made mistakes like the rest of them. In fact, Kirk thought, it should be his crew who was called the heroes- they had to put up with him! Kirk chuckled sadly. His crew...how could he ever leave his crew?

_Oh no no no...I'm a Rocket Man! Rocket Man, burning out his fuse up here alone!_

"Approaching Earth, sir." Sulu said dryly, though there were tears streaming down his face. Chekov, too, was crying, as was Uhura and Scotty.

"My bairns." Scotty was muttering. "How can they live wi'out me?"

"Want to get a drink with me...once we get down to Earth?" Sulu asked Chekov.

"I vould like that." Chekov replied, but both knew it wouldn't be the same as going to the Rec Room. "And ve must keep in touch. All of us." he said, trying to smile at the bridge but failing miserably.

The only person not crying on the bridge was Kirk. He was trying to set an example, and it wasn't really working. "Space Station to Enterprise. Tractor beams on." a voice from the com said.

"We're docked, sir." Sulu reported, a few minutes later.

Kirk stood up. It was his last moment in command of this vessel...how could he show his appreciation toward his crew? McCoy walked in, tears too down his face. The sight of the good doctor crying nearly caused Kirk to collapse and sob. But no- he was a starship captain! He couldn't do that.

"All of you." Kirk said. "You have been. The finest crew one could have. You have helped me through bad times and supported me in good. We aren't a crew anymore- we're a family. And sometimes, families do have to split apart. But someday, we will meet again. Out in space. Our five year mission has ended, but our voyages shall continue in our heart.

"Uhura, what can I say about you?" Kirk asked, smiling at the communications officer. "You've informed me about Klingon whereabouts and that our hailing frequencies were open-" at this, Uhura gave a watery chuckle "but you've been an asset to our crew. You're the only female still on this bridge, and you've kept us all in line.

"Scotty. Just as Uhura kept us in line, you've kept our engines running smoothly. I'm sorry if I pushed them too hard- apologize to them for me, okay?" Scotty laughed. "But really, Scotty, you are a miracle worker around the Enterprise. This ship wouldn't be the way it is today without you.

"Sulu. You've kept this ship in orbit, and steered it these past five years. You've cracked jokes to make us feel better, and kept time when we didn't really want to know how many minutes we had left to our doom." Sulu grinned. "I can't imagine this ship without you steering it, Mr. Sulu, but I'm sure someday you'll have to stop steering and start commanding.

"And we have come to Chekov. I had my doubts when I realized an _ensign_ was going to be controlling our weapons, but you hit all our enemies right on target. You've made good friends, and a good start here on the Enterprise. I can tell you love this ship, and you've obviously shown it. And the best part is, you love this ship because of your love for space and for your crew mates, not because a Russian might have helped build it." Chekov laughed.

"And Dr. Bones McCoy. You're a doctor, not a...well, you're a doctor, anyway, and you've saved this crew's lives more than once. You've kept Spock's logic in check, and my own sense of grandeur as well. And even when you've had to say that 'someone's dead, Jim,' you always bounce back to save another life. You really are a good doctor." McCoy grinned.

"If only Spock were here. A great First Officer, and a great friend. His logic kept all of us in line, I believe." Kirk said, and the rest of the crew (bar McCoy) nodded.

"No, his logic only gave me a headache." he muttered.

"Now, I suppose we need to go down to Earth." Kirk said. "Goodbye Nyota, Scotty, Hikaru, Pavel, and Bones. It's been a pleasure serving with you all."

"Dammit, Jim, don't make me cry!" McCoy complained. "Goodbye, and remember what I warned you about."

The bridge crew hugged one another, and made their way to the transporter room. Kirk breathed deeply. It was, perhaps, his last time on the Enterprise. He had already examined the ship more than once in the last few days, looking through every nook and cranny. His ship...he would now be parted from. Forever? Kirk hated to think that it would come to that. "Lt. Kyle?" he asked.

"Yes, Captain?"

"I...Energize." Kirk felt the familiar tug on his body, and gave one last look at his beautiful ship: the USS Enterprise. Kirk was beamed down to San Francisco at midnight. He made his way off the platform, and went over to where Nogura was standing.

"Hello, Captain Kirk! How's my Admiral?" he asked, jokingly.

Kirk didn't reply. He looked up at the stars. That ship, the Enterprise, was docked above him. Kirk felt a strange emptiness. He felt as if someone he loved was parted from him- and it was true. He was parted from his lady, the Enterprise. Kirk frowned at the word Admiral. Though he would take the stripes, he knew he would, but he did not feel he was an Admiral. He wasn't a captain, either. Nor a frontiersman. No, no...he was a rocket man, his mind always set on the stars above. At Space. The Final Frontier. That he had journeyed through on his five-year mission, and discovered strange new worlds, new life, and new civilizations. He, along with the rest of the crew, had boldly gone where no man had ever gone before.

_And I think it's gonna be a long long time Til' touchdown brings me round again to find...I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no...I'm a Rocket Man! Rocket Man burning out his fuse up here alone..._

FIN


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